This is about my anxiety

I need nothingness
like I need a lover
that is the truth of things.
I have everything
I think, I feel
I think and I know things
but I do not know nothingness.
Is she gentle in her embrace?
Or is the agony greater than something?
Than everything?

Oh, how human
to is to want
to need
something unknown
or perhaps it is more human
to fear it

I am no stranger
to less human
I am no stranger
to the desire
of strange things

I think, I feel
I want nothingness
she promises peace.

Oh, but promises scare me,
only those who don’t know promise
but then again, nothingness knows not.

I need nothingness
like I need God
that is the truth of things
I am poor of spirit
I am oft told.

Perhaps then
you will find me, a beggar
spare some spirit for a poor man?

I mock,
But I think
I must be blind.

Craig Huang

15/08/24